Dear Drew and Emily,

My friend recently confessed to me that she has an STD. The thing is, she’s still engaging in sexual activities and not telling any of the guys she’s sleeping with. What do I do? I don’t want to break my friend’s trust, but I think what she’s doing is wrong. HELP!

-Disease Louise

He Said…

Like Janis says to Cadi in Mean Girls:

“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff, and those who see evil stuff being done, but don’t try to stop it.”

I would call your friend girl number one and suggest you don’t become girl number two.

I know it’s technically not cool to dish out secrets your friend has entrusted you with. But when the story is this juicy, you can’t help but share the sweet gossipy nectar.

If it makes you feel better, think of it as community service. By letting everyone know that your friend is possibly giving her little guy friends more than they bargained for, you’re preventing them from having to deal with that dreaded three letter acronym later on.

It may also answer some questions they have about recent “developments” they’ve had in their nether-regions.

Furthermore, by you warning any possible victim, he’ll be in great appreciation and will probably be willing to take you to dinner or a movie. If some crazy weekend night results, you’ll have less to worry about and won’t need to wonder if he caught it too.

Now, if you don’t want to “out” her right away you could always try bringing it up casually. Maybe make up a story about a girl you heard about doing the same thing another college and now she’s in jail or people hate her or something. She’ll get scared and stop.

Or, is there anything of hers you like? Maybe a cute outfit you’ve always been jealous of?

No, I’m not saying you blackmail her! That’s illegal! I’m just saying that you barter, like in the old days, quid pro quo. She has something you want and you have something she wishes you didn’t have. So you trade, even Steven.

But, If these ideas sound a little too nice and you’re actually are an evil person, all wrapped up in cold, hard shiny plastic, then I suggest you keep closer tabs on her. Then you’ll at least know who to stay away from.

She Said…

WHOA, heavy stuff, Disease Louise. Talking about the birds and the bees isn’t nearly as much fun when the bees are infected.

First things first. You need to sit down and have a serious chat with this friend of yours. I know that you don’t want to break her trust, but STDs are serious business. I don’t think your friend realizes the ramifications of her actions if she continues keeping mum about her ‘you-know-what.’

Is she seeking any medical help for her STD? It’s important that she come to terms with the disease and try her best to treat it because some STDs can be cured, but not all of them. While condoms can dramatically reduce the risk of contracting an STD, they don’t provide 100% protection.

If she has gonorrhea, syphilis or Chlamydia they can be cured with antibiotics because they’re bacterial STDs. If she has contacted a viral STD such as HIV, HPV, hepatitis B or herpes – the four H’s – then there is no cure but their symptoms can be reduced with treatment.

Basically, the fact that she is still engaging in sexual activities and not telling any of her partners about her situation sets the tone for a disaster waiting to explode.

While I completely understand how she would have reservations about telling something so personal to someone she’s not close to, I must say that once she decide to have sexual intimacy with someone – she needs to reveal the STD. If not for the reason that her partner has the right to know, how about the fact that secrets don’t make friends? And not secrets like you were really a geek in high school instead of the rock star you are now, but secrets that can affect the rest of someone’s life – STD style.

You may feel like you’re protecting your friend by keeping her secret, but remember, we do go to a rather small school where everyone seems to “get” with everyone, and in protecting your friend you may just be potentially exposing yourself to an STD. Doesn’t sound quite so noble now does it? Do us all a favor – get your friend to realize the cold hard facts; STDs are nothing to mess around with (no pun intended).